After sharing my food blog with a client, I realized I hadn't written anything for it since 2018. During that time, I was overly restrictive, had a tameless sweet tooth, counted calories, and wasn't fully able to enjoy foods. 2018 Lauren has been on quite the journey to become 2022 Lauren, and I'd love to share more wellness tips and recipes moving forward as someone who has healed their disordered eating.
We moved to NC in 2019 to better our lives with warmer weather, a slower way of live, salty air, and friendlier people (sorry, Massholes...still love you). For me, I also wanted to let go of the grip food and exercise had on me, and that's exactly what I did. In the months leading up to our move, we were taken out...a LOT; all the drinks, all the foods. For the first time in my adult life, I ordered things on the menu because they sounded good, rather than making the healthiest or lowest calorie choice. My husband and I were slowly gaining wait, and we joked that we would "address it later". We made it to NC, where we ordered our fair share of pizza, explored local creameries, tested all the breweries - all things I would have previously not been a part of, or worse, would have brought my own damn food. By the time we were settled in, I had gained over to 10 pounds. And even though this was "heavy" for me, I didn't panic. I kept my work outs normal, and kept enjoying the amazing foods Wilmington had to offer.
I didn't realize it at the time, but this was exactly what my body needed to reset, because after so many months of gaining, the weight started falling off on its own. It's like my metabolism was broken from so many years of under eating, restricting, and binging, only for it to be fixed by a surplus of all the foods I deprived it of. The more I ate, the faster it went and the more I naturally lost. My work outs felt incredible, which caused my physique to change, showing more muscle than it ever has. My sweet tooth almost entirely vanished with these changes, and my tolerance for caffeine had gone way down as well.
With all that said, I still love and enjoy health foods. I still have collagen in my coffee every morning, I just add cream instead of almond milk now. I still have vegetables and animal protein every day, but mayo and cheese are no longer my enemy. I still love my sweet potatoes, but also adore my breads. I eat what sounds good, whether it's considered the "healthier" choice or not.
It can be a scary thing to start eating intuitively because you may think you'll fly off the handle with what you'd eat. But intuitive eating doesn't mean binging on cake for breakfast or eating an entire pizza; it means pausing; asking yourself what you're in the mood to eat; eating portions that feel right for your body; letting go of guilt if you enjoy the birthday cake or order a burger and fries instead of a salad. But it also means finding healthy foods that accommodate your gut, your mood, your energy levels, your exercise routine or busy work days.
You will sleep better at night when you're not going over the previous days food intake in your head, and consequently planning out the next day as a result. You will enjoy your eggs more with cheese. Your bread more with butter. Your coffee light and sweet. Your food more without calorie awareness. Your body more without a scale or measuring tape.
Life is for enjoying, which means, yes, you have to be healthy to feel good, but there is so much more to health than salads and squats. Eat well, but enjoy what you eat.
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