Calorie counting absolutely ruined food for me. When I was eating "within range" I was so aware of the caloric intake with each bite that mealtime became more about math and less about fuel. When I would go over my allotted calories, whether it be by one single calorie or one hundred, I considered the day ruined and would help myself to extra of whatever I pleased - why not; in my mind, I already failed. But what I found to be the most damaging to my relationship with food was keeping track of my daily exercise, the calories it burned, and "rewarding" myself with food.
We've all been there: we work a little harder at the gym knowing that later will be filled with social drinks and indulgences. Or, when mentally battling with ourselves over whether or not to have dessert, we resort back to how many calories we burned that day, and whether or not "we earned it". Last time I checked, no one gave me a treat for sitting properly or using the bathroom instead of the carpet - oh that's right, that's because I am not a dog. And because I'm not a dog, I don't need to be rewarded with food.
Sure, there are indulgences that I enjoy like a good glass of red wine, organic dark chocolate, or some homemade Bailey's (recipe to follow)...but I shouldn't have to look back on the amount of calories I burned that day in order to enjoy them - or need to justify them at all. Food is fuel, yes, but it is also an experience; it's a time when you get to slow down and tune into what your body is needing; it's a time to sit with family and talk about your day; it's a time to sip beverages and snack on sweets while catching up with friends. If I was only allowing myself to enjoy these treats as a reward for a long run or after a good leg day at the gym, I was depriving myself of those exact experiences. Instead, I sat there in great discomfort, over-justifying my "treats" or feeling deprived for not allowing myself to have them. It was a lose-lose that made me feel irritable, which would lead to a not-so-much-fun Lauren to be around. I ruined what would have simply been a time to honor my body's needs, enjoy a nice meal with my family, or a good time with friends - all by being too aware of that day's work out in comparison to food and drink consumption. It was damn hard to take a rest day, that's for sure.
Marathon training made all of this worse.
Knowing I was running 18, 20, or 22 miles the following day opened the excuse-door for over indulging. Extra glass of wine (sugars!), large bowl of popcorn (carbs!) handfuls of almonds (fats!) - it was pretty easy to justify these things away knowing the amount of calories about to be burned. And even though my appetite is typically suppressed right after a training run, it eventually picks back up - and the justifications come flooding back in: "I ran 20 miles today, and I didn't have breakfast; extra dessert tonight, I earned it!" But, did I, though? Despite two and a half hours of running, I still overate the night before as "preparation" and am still planning on "extra" indulgences later, just to pat myself on the back. By doing this, food was less about enjoyment or fuel, and more about excuses. I may not have felt hungry, but the knowledge of that morning's skipped breakfast plus the 18 mile run I accomplished would send me to the fridge on autopilot. In these ways, being aware of my calorie intake on top of my calories burned was disastrous to my relationship with food - and my body. A little extra protein before and after such a strenuous work out would have sufficed just fine had I stopped counting the day's caloric intake versus those burned.
My advice? Exercise, yes! But then forget about it. Don't think about what you did that day when it comes down to "allowing" yourself to have food. As the saying goes, you can't out run your fork; just because you worked out that day does not give you permission to go crazy in the kitchen. Eating should come from honoring your body and the hard work you put into it. What are you in the mood for? What is your body needing? Are you properly fueled (protein/complex carb/good fats) for what lies ahead? Tuning into these questions will help you eat mindfully, based simply on you and your needs - the body is good that way. It's likely that if you had a strenuous work out, at some point, you will be hungry for that little bit extra. It's tuning into what that is that will save you. Sweet? Salty? Hydration? Carbs? Make the best decision for your recovering body based on these needs, and you won't need to reflect back to that day's gym session or logged miles.
*The other day after a training run, for a snack, I boiled a chicken thigh, sprikled it with Himalayan salt, and chomped it down. Salty protein was what I craved, and though definitely an unconventional snack, was just what I needed. And later, when we had company for dinner and drinks, I had wine, munched on tortilla chips, and enjoyed the entirety of my seaweed salad and sushi take out because I felt like it. Not because I ran 18 miles earlier, not because I did the math and could still "afford" the extra glass of red, but because we had the combination of great friends and great food, which made for a great experience; an experience I would have partaken with a shaky, wine-glass-filled-hand had I not let go of the food/exercise comparison.
Exercise for health. Eat for fuel. Indulge mindfully with friends. Enjoy food with family. But do yourself a favor and stop the counting. Stop comparing. Stop "allowing" or depriving yourself. Stop treating food and drinks like something you need to earn. Don't ruin food for yourself like I had done for years. Honor your body and enjoy the experiences that go along with it.
And when you need a sweet after dinner treat, try this homemade Bailey's recipe:
Homemade Bailey's (single serving):
1 cup of milk (works best with creamy, raw milk or organic whole milk, but can be substituted with almond/cashew milk)
1/3 cup brewed coffee
1T pure maple syrup (or coconut palm syrup)
few drops of vanilla
1 shot of whiskey (for extra sweetness, try Honey Jack or Maple Crown Royal)
Shake with ice or blend and serve.
So tasty that it serves as a drink and dessert - the perfect treat that you didn't need to do a thing to earn ;)
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